May is Mental Health Awareness Month—a powerful reminder to pause and process.
This month, instead of focusing on “mental illness” or “disorders,” let’s shift the conversation. Let’s talk about stress responses—because what we often label as depression, anxiety, or disconnection are actually the body’s natural ways of coping. These responses aren’t weaknesses or flaws. They’re signals from the nervous system, and understanding them can change everything.
Trauma: It’s in Our DNA
Stress responses can start before we’re even born. This is known as transgenerational trauma, when unprocessed stress and behavioral patterns pass through generations. Our nervous systems are shaped by more than just our own experiences. That’s why mental health awareness isn’t just personal—it’s collective.
The Ladder of the Nervous System: A Polyvagal Perspective
As someone trained in Polyvagal Theory and the Safe and Sound Protocol, I help individuals understand how their autonomic nervous system works. Think of it as a ladder with three main rungs:
- 🧘♀️ Top: Ventral Vagal
Safe, social, grounded. This is your “best self” zone—where you feel calm, connected, and open. - ⚡ Middle: Sympathetic
Fight or flight. Here, you might feel anxious, overwhelmed, or pressured. - 🌀 Bottom: Dorsal Vagal
Shutdown or freeze. This is the dark place—numbness, withdrawal, hopelessness.
We all move up and down this ladder throughout the day. The magic happens when we learn to recognize where we are and use tools to regulate.
Reframing Depression and Anxiety
Many diagnoses, like depression or anxiety, can be understood as nervous system states:
- Depression is a dorsal vagal state: shut down, numb, disconnected.
- Anxiety is a sympathetic state: hyper-alert, chaotic, wired.
These are not permanent labels. They’re temporary states that shift with awareness, movement, and support.
Tools for Awareness: The Profile Map
One tool I often use is the Profile Map—a visual way to help people identify their current state. We explore emotions, body sensations, and thoughts tied to each state. From there, we can gently guide the nervous system back toward safety and connection.
Another key technique? Naming your emotional states.
Especially with kids (but helpful for all ages), giving states nicknames like “Gator,” “Chaos,” or “Flow” creates distance and curiosity. It helps turn inner storms into something understandable and manageable.
Recognizing the States
Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown)
- Feels like: darkness, heaviness, withdrawal.
- Thoughts:
- “I am unlovable.”
- “The world is cold.”
- “People are distant.”
- Body: tearful, small, heavy.
- Support: rest, soft movement, patience.
- Nickname: Gator or Grumpster.
Sympathetic (Anxiety/Fight or Flight)
- Feels like: pressure, chaos, urgency.
- Thoughts:
- “I am out of control.”
- “The world is explosive.”
- “People are demanding.”
- Body: rapid movement, agitation.
- Support: grounding, 5-4-3-2-1 technique, breathwork.
- Nickname: Chaos or Pressure.
Ventral Vagal (Safety/Connection)
- Feels like: calm, flow, love.
- Thoughts:
- “I am at peace.”
- “The world is beautiful.”
- “People are supportive.”
- Body: light, open, relaxed.
- Nickname: Flow or Zen.
So, How Do We Shift?
- 🧘 Deep breathing: It’s not just for yoga class. Intentional breath calms the sympathetic state.
- 🚶 Movement: Especially important when in dorsal—move gently to invite energy back in.
- 🎨 Creative rituals: Draw your states. Name them. Make them characters. Kids especially thrive with visual tools.
- 🕰️ Time: It can take 20–30 minutes for the nervous system to self-regulate. Be patient with yourself.
Healing Takes Awareness and Support
Yes, pausing can sometimes bring discomfort—it might even feel overwhelming at first. But it’s in those quiet moments that healing begins. We live in a society that rarely allows time to feel, reflect, and reconnect. So take the pause. Breathe deeply. Name what’s happening inside you.
You are not broken. You are responding. And with awareness, you can regulate and recover.
Mental health isn’t about “fixing” yourself. It’s about understanding your nervous system, exploring your past with compassion, and creating space for new, connected experiences.
Counseling can offer powerful support if you’re struggling or curious to know more. You’re not alone on the ladder. Let’s climb together.
Check out some of our most popular videos:
Follow Debra at these websites and social media links:
Consultation
Your healing matters—and it starts with one intentional step.
Connect with Debra Wallace, MS, LMFT for a personalized consultation through the Positive Reframe Therapy Portal.
Call (312) 463-9163 or reach out Online to begin creating space for growth and peace.