To opportunities to practice conflict resolutions with those who are different from us. Considering the conflict in our society and the high divorce rate, I believe we could benefit from more practice during sensitive and critical periods of development in our own homes. Parents complain they don’t have time for this and kids should just get along, but these beliefs and assumptions are sadly making things worse. We need to make time to learn and practice conflict resolution skills and get vital needs met.
I still feel shocked that parents think their kids should get along. To me it makes perfect sense that siblings fighting they are vying for the same resources and let’s be real, they are limited…They you the provider of all things good, your attention, love, and nurturance Wars happen for the same reason yet on a macro scale, fighting over limited resources and wanting power and control happen for this same reason.
We all have vital needs to meet… to feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure (4Ss), and we want a sense of power and control. What happens inside of you when kids are fighting…My blog roughhouse trigger. You won’t be able to truly be present for any of your kids if you are not aware of or dealing with the conflict within (IFS)
Tip 1: Pause and breathe, noticing and listening to what is happening inside of you, and attend to your fears and needs first. Identifying, acknowledging them and doing something to soothe your fears and get your needs met.
How to Sooth Disturbing Emotions and Process Negative Events Quickly – Simple Techniques
Tip 2: Go to kids and apply same. Breathe, notice, listen, do something to get their vital need to feel 4s, Sportscasting, Siblings without Rivalry by Mazlish and Faber Siblings Without Rivalry: A Summary of Effective Strategies | by Bookey | Medium
Tip 3: Set limits and boundaries to create safety.
Check out some of our most popular videos:
How to Sooth Disturbing Emotions and Process Negative Events Quickly – Simple Techniques
Positive Reframe on Healing: All Healing is Self-Healing
What I Do Instead of Making Up Consequences and Punishment
Breathing Exercise to Self Soothe and Calm Down
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Disclaimer
Positive Reframe shares resources with the intent of the positive progression of informed decision-making related to issues associated with emotional, relational, physical, and spiritual wellness. While I share personal and professional perspectives, my writings reflect my personal opinion and are not intended to substitute professional advice, diagnosis, and treatment thus the content shared on this page is for informational purposes only. This online medium does not lend itself to the level of detail and rapport building required for thorough assessment and therapeutic intervention. To make well-informed decisions that best meet your family’s unique needs, I highly recommend exploring and researching available options, consulting primary healthcare providers, engaging in respectful dialogue with friends and family as well as seek referrals from a trusted source for professional counseling. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Illinois, USA.