Putting On New Lenses For Parenting

My life became so much more peaceful, loving, trusting, and joyful the day I realized my children had more to teach me about life than vice versa… Yet to fully understand, I had to look at them differently. I had to stop focusing on how they seem to make life more difficult and drain all my resources. I had to step in their shoes to truly appreciate what they were giving me…the ultimate opportunity to heal, grow, and transform from fear to trust.


Here is a list I created with some common negative descriptions of children’s behaviors through a more positive lens:


“As a parent, there will be times when you are very challenged by your children – they won’t listen, they won’t do what you ask, they fight when you have asked them not to, they won’t stay in bed when you put them there, they melt down when you are out and other people are looking at you…. That is the nature of parenting. And you have two ways of viewing your child in situations like this: you can view your child as a problem – that’s what most people do – or you can fit specially ground pure crystal lenses and view this child as your teacher. The child who challenges you can teach you more than any other teacher you have ever had or will ever have, and without a student loan. So how does a ‘problem’ suddenly turn into a teacher? Your perspective.

~Pennie Brownlee


I was happy to have stumbled upon Pennie’s book, Dance With Me in the Heart at our local library in NZ. She cited research I had already knew yet her words were music to my heart. I was even more grateful when I got to hear her speak at a home-birthing conference. She is an amazing inspiration. I highly recommend her works and creations.





Positive Reframe shares resources with the intent of the positive progression of informed decision-making related to issues associated with emotional, relational, physical, and spiritual wellness. While I share personal and professional perspectives, my writings reflect my personal opinion and are not intended to substitute professional advice, diagnosis, and treatment thus the content shared on this page is for informational purposes only. This online medium does not lend itself to the level of detail and rapport building required for thorough assessment and therapeutic intervention. To make well-informed decisions that best meet your family’s unique needs, I highly recommend exploring and researching available options, consulting primary healthcare providers, engaging in respectful dialogue with friends and family as well as seek referrals from a trusted source for professional counseling. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Illinois, USA.

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