Loved-based responses will still awaken negative feelings like guilt and sadness thus our loved one will still have defense mechanisms activated yet when we stay aware of and connected to our loved-based intentions then we create opportunities for deeper healing, connection, and growth.
I know that every parent is doing the best they can with the resources they were given or are aware of.
I had realized all this holiday hullaballoo was a ploy to get us to buy stuff and it hurt me to play the part.
Speaking from personal experience, every time my child would act out, I would automatically have the negative thought of “What is wrong with him/her!?” which very quickly turned to “What is wrong with me!?”
As human beings, we are constantly absorbing stimulation from all our senses (i.e. sight, touch, smell, taste, sounds, and intuition).
Anxiety had affected just about every facet of life, especially sleep. For as long as I could remember, I had trouble falling asleep. I would lie awake for hours worrying, and replays of my past experiences and decisions haunted me. In 2005, it got even worse; I would wake up in the middle of night and could not fall back to sleep no matter what I tried. I complained that it was my stressful job and my partner watching TV at bedtime. I desperately needed to sleep and wanted my job and my partner to change. Anxiety continued to sabotage me. In order to get a peaceful night of sleep, I had to do the following:
One day, my son was feeling badly about not living up to his potential. He expressed negative beliefs of “not being good enough, being lazy, stupid, feeling guilty/shame about his choices and behaviors.
Many systems operate from the assumption that there needs to be a hierarchy, someone at the top, a boss to lead, to have power over.
The essential message of unconditional love is one of liberation: You can be whoever you are, express all your thoughts and feelings with absolute confidence.
An example of focusing on the positive, being response-able versus reactive, the power of reflection, and my partner and I working together as a team to uphold our family values